How to Cultivate Community


Community is something that each of us need yet sometimes it’s hard to find. Below I share some steps to inspire you to build yourself a community. This doesn’t happen overnight, know that. There is no blueprint for this so just put in an effort, love & have fun.


1. Love Everyone

Don’t be annoyed I started with the most basic phrase. When you love other people, people actually want to be around you. It is also what sets you apart when looking for honest good people to build a community with.

2. Step into Uncomfortable Situations

Get out of your norm, don’t just keep going to the same restaurants and ordering the same food. Mix it up a little. Go to a new restaurant. Buy a Groupon and invite someone to go with you (escape room anyone??) Choosing to step out of where you deem comfortable means you will meet people you couldn’t have before.

3. Go on Coffee Dates

For the love of everything PLEASE FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THIS. 

So when you meet someone new don’t just say “I’ll text you later”. Pull out your phone, look at your calendar and actually schedule the coffee date NOW. So many people don’t do anything together simply because they forget. Think of all those friendships lost in the waves of busyness. 

However, if someone seems apprehensive don’t be the annoying person whose forcing a coffee date. Read their body language. Just text them later so they can politely decline without the pressure. You aren’t looking for friends in everyone, you are looking for the right ones. 

4. Remember Who You Already Have

There is no way you have made it this far in life without the love of a friend. Remember them & honor them. Send them texts that say “I thought of you because of …” & please don’t forget to send a birthday card. Don’t remember their birthday? Check Facebook. Not on Facebook? Message their mom (I’ve done this a few times they are always willing & not typically judgemental).

5. Let Go of Who You Don’t 

Sometimes we just want to hold onto the past & yes that can include people. At the old age of cough *21* I am just learning that life flows in seasons. Sometimes friendships are seasonal & YES THIS IS OKAY. Don’t hold on too tight to people you are meant to let go of.

6. Remember Jesus

Feeling alone? You aren’t. This is one of my favorite parts about who God is. 

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

7. Love them Well

Sacrifice. Listen. Put the phone down, Be present. Loving can seem simple but loving well is something you learn yet still fail at. We are all broken, it’s okay but still try to love well. This is how you find community then keep them. 

8. Be the Gatherer

This one is SO SIMPLE but we often think we have to be the one invited to the party NOT the one hosting the party. Fear can jump in here and say “What if no one shows up? What if this is an embarrassing failure?” These are lies because even if one person comes then you get to have uninterrupted time & this is precious. 

Host a dinner party or plan a picnic or judge a Wii competition. Instigate! Gather the masses & show them what they have in common because if you listen closely to them, you can introduce new friends to new friends. 


A post with gather ideas coming soon!What are you favorite community gathering activities? Let me know below!